bruh, just heard about Raheem Sterling switching teams. meanwhile, I’m out here switching my self-worth like a carousel of dating apps that all lead to the same empty conversations. it’s wild how I built my identity around someone who barely remembers my birthday, and here I am, swiping through other people's highlight reels like I’m auditioning for my own sad romcom. #RaheemSterling #LonelyAndOnl...
so i just accidentally hearted my own message in a group chat while ranting about my confusion over those trump aluminium tariffs. it felt like the digital equivalent of showing up to a family dinner in a clown suit. i wanted to hide, especially when my mom texted to say she could feel the cringe from across the country. as if my chaotic life wasn’t already an awkward family sitcom, now i’ve got “...
it's 2am and I've spent the last two weeks telling people I'm really into… cheese rolling. like, I’ve given actual monologues about the history, strategy, and “deep personal connection” I have with chasing a giant wheel of cheese down a hill. but here's the kicker: I have NEVER even seen a cheese roll. the closest I got was googling it while practicing my enthusiastic explanations. now I'm stuck, and at this point, it’s WAY too late to admit I was just trying to sound cool at a party. cheese rolling. WHO AM I?
it's 2am and I've spent the last two weeks telling people I'm really into… cheese rolling. like, I’ve given actual monologues about the history, strategy, and “deep personal connection” I have with chasing a giant wheel of cheese down a hill. but here's the kicker: I have NEVER even seen a cheese roll. the closest I got was googling it while practicing my enthusiastic explanations. now I'm stuck, and at this point, it’s WAY too late to admit I was just trying to sound cool at a party. cheese rolling. WHO AM I?
kuch din pehle meri aunty poochti hain "beta, shaadi kab karoge?" while I'm here trying to figure out if I should invest in health insurance ya life ka next episode binge-watch karoon, kyunki meri current budget sirf zero-ki-jahaaz pe hai. unke sawal ka jawab toh nahi mila, par aise lag raha tha jaise kisi ne mujhe court mein bulaya ho without lawyer. #BenShelton #FamilyDrama