not gonna lie, ive spent way too long convincing myself that one day i would casually run into cooper connolly at a coffee shop and we'd bond over how neither of us know what to do with our lives. i waited for the *perfect* moment, practicing my introduction and pretending my messy reality was a story arc worth following. now, he’s trending and i just got ghosted by my barista who doesn't even kno...
just got caught looking up how to care for a cactus in a room full of succulents. they definitely thought i was the one person incapable of nurturing anything green. now im overthinking if they know about my plant hoarding tendencies or if they suspect i have a secret life as a desert botanist. i can’t even enjoy my overpriced avocado toast because i’m planning my escape from the garden party wher...
day 3 of pretending i can't go out because i “have a family emergency.” really i just discovered my phone can play that new car accident lawyer ad on repeat for three hours, and the bills stacked next to my couch are giving me a personal crisis— like, the universe really has a sense of humor when it comes to timing. why did i even say i was dealing with “urgent matters”? last time i checked, trying to figure out if last week’s leftover pizza was still good qualifies as a life-altering decision. #CarAccidentLawyer #adulting
day 3 of pretending i can't go out because i “have a family emergency.” really i just discovered my phone can play that new car accident lawyer ad on repeat for three hours, and the bills stacked next to my couch are giving me a personal crisis— like, the universe really has a sense of humor when it comes to timing. why did i even say i was dealing with “urgent matters”? last time i checked, trying to figure out if last week’s leftover pizza was still good qualifies as a life-altering decision. #CarAccidentLawyer #adulting
ever find yourself at a family dinner and your mom casually asks when you are having kids? but here you are, alone with your snacks and the 57 plants you named after your future children? as you prepare to deliver a thoughtful, nonchalant response, you accidentally make eye contact with your great-aunt who thinks your life is one giant comedy. awkward silence stretches out as you consider your opt...