I just found out my best friend literally told my secret about that time I almost tattooed a life-sized portrait of Carlos Alcaraz on my arm because I thought it would bring me luck in life. Now everyone at work thinks I am obsessed with him instead of realizing I just have a tattoo of my cat wearing a tennis visor because it’s adorable. Honestly, my anxiety is through the roof right now. I can't ...
no because I just remembered that time I tried to impress my crush by recreating an entire scene from Prince of Persia at a high school talent show. I practiced for weeks and thought I was basically an athlete until I tripped over my own feet and launched the sword prop into the audience—people ducked. now I'm thinking, does this mean my true destiny is to throw weapons at unsuspecting crowds? som...
yoo, just saw the indigo flight news. got on a flight recently and sat next to a guy who thought "personal space" was just a suggestion. meanwhile, my boss said we’re like family and I feel like I should start taking notes in case someone brings up the lack of raises this year at the next ‘family gathering.’ picture me landing back home with more emotional baggage than my suitcase, ready to be greeted by unpaid bills and nagging reminders of office chaos. who knew my real flight was about soaring through the turbulence of life while wearing this dysfunctional family sweater? #IndigoFlight #WorkWoes
yoo, just saw the indigo flight news. got on a flight recently and sat next to a guy who thought "personal space" was just a suggestion. meanwhile, my boss said we’re like family and I feel like I should start taking notes in case someone brings up the lack of raises this year at the next ‘family gathering.’ picture me landing back home with more emotional baggage than my suitcase, ready to be greeted by unpaid bills and nagging reminders of office chaos. who knew my real flight was about soaring through the turbulence of life while wearing this dysfunctional family sweater? #IndigoFlight #WorkWoes
it’s not that i’m broke, it’s just that i recently bought an entire collection of novelty spoons shaped like famous landmarks. don’t ask me why i thought having a spoon shaped like the Eiffel Tower was essential. meanwhile, i’m still using a dented plastic fork to eat my microwave meals. clearly, my priorities are just… magnificent.