so im supposed to mentor the new hire even though my last major achievement was getting a full week without a panic attack. i mean, one minute they’re asking me for guidance, the next i'm googling “how to be an adult” because their questions sound more complicated than Connor Hellebuyck's save percentage on a bad day. i think they might actually be better off watching cat videos on repeat instead....
so, like, i always swore i wouldn’t be one of those people—y’know, the ones who start collecting random things just to fill their lives with unnecessary junk. and then, last week, i literally found myself scrolling through a fandom site looking for Tory Lanez vinyl records. like why? i don’t even own a record player! it was supposed to be just one… now i’m on some weird obsession track and my frie...
the art of making the worst playlists is my secret talent. i spent weeks curating a collection for my “ultimate party” only to discover my friend used it for her workout sessions instead. guess who’s now forced to live through 50 minutes of smooth jazz mixed with whale sounds while wondering why i thought an ocean theme was a good idea? at least she seems to be enjoying her zen moments. #cringeworthycreativity #lostintranslation
the art of making the worst playlists is my secret talent. i spent weeks curating a collection for my “ultimate party” only to discover my friend used it for her workout sessions instead. guess who’s now forced to live through 50 minutes of smooth jazz mixed with whale sounds while wondering why i thought an ocean theme was a good idea? at least she seems to be enjoying her zen moments. #cringeworthycreativity #lostintranslation
so like, I thought the drama of a messy situationship was behind me until I ran into my ex at the hospital, right? like, he's there visiting his grandma while I'm, you know, just trying to get my life together after finding out I need to go to therapy for my "chronic attracting toxic people" issue. and he walks by like, "oh hey, we should totally catch up," and I’m like, wow, dude, maybe just wait...