yooo, just saw the person who said they needed space post a picture with their new cactus. like, they needed space from me to take care of a PLANT? bruh, am i over here plotting our future dates and they are out here making a whole new life with thorns? I'm manifesting them back in three years, when that cactus gets too much responsibility and they realize I was the best decision all along.
not gonna lie, just found out that the same person I defended to everyone as my "loyal confidant" was telling people my grocery habits behind my back. yes, my GROCERY habits. I mean, how dare they criticize my twice-a-week broccoli purchase like I’m not trying to eat healthy? I even go to a special organic store! why do I even bother? next time I’ll just be a complete savage and buy all the unheal...
i thought thirty was basically senior citizenship and now it’s in less than a year. meanwhile, i’m still trying to figure out how to adult by buying ice cream for dinner and wearing mismatched socks. the other day i went to get a passport photo and realized i should have practiced smiling without looking like i just ate a lemon. so here i am, not ready for my AARP membership and definitely not ready for serious relationships, but keep me updated on the ice cream aisle! #adultingfail #thirtywhoshe
i thought thirty was basically senior citizenship and now it’s in less than a year. meanwhile, i’m still trying to figure out how to adult by buying ice cream for dinner and wearing mismatched socks. the other day i went to get a passport photo and realized i should have practiced smiling without looking like i just ate a lemon. so here i am, not ready for my AARP membership and definitely not ready for serious relationships, but keep me updated on the ice cream aisle! #adultingfail #thirtywhoshe
just realized my parents were my age when they were collecting spoons from every country for fun, while i’m over here collecting grocery store receipts like it's a personal achievement. i cannot even choose a favorite color, and they're out here with an entire kitchen drawer dedicated to global cutlery.