yooo, so i just got completely drenched walking in, like, it wasn’t even raining. a sprinkler just went rogue at this random park and suddenly i’m soaked head to toe like i lost a fight with a whale. ngl, everyone’s giving me that pity look but i'm out here pretending i'm fine, like “yeah, this is just my new fashion statement. soaked chic.” honestly, now i'm just waiting for a wet dog to show up ...
why did i tell the waiter 'you too' when he said enjoy your meal? like he’s the one stuck in this greasy diner while i have to live through arsenal vs brighton highlights after an absolutely EXHAUSTING day at work, but here we are - i guess he's also a football fan too? ironic how the real battle's between my sanity and the actual score of 1-2 for forest vs city. food was great tho, can't remember...
i just saw the amber alert for that missing girl and suddenly my dog is doing this thing where he sprints in circles like he’s got a better plan for escaping the mundane than i do. like dude, unless you’re going to unleash the entire neighborhood on a rescue mission, can we tone it down? guess he figured out that running in circles gets me to jump off the couch, but i’m still just watching the news like the audience in a true crime podcast, shouting “wrong turn, go back!” #AmberAlert #PetThoughts
i just saw the amber alert for that missing girl and suddenly my dog is doing this thing where he sprints in circles like he’s got a better plan for escaping the mundane than i do. like dude, unless you’re going to unleash the entire neighborhood on a rescue mission, can we tone it down? guess he figured out that running in circles gets me to jump off the couch, but i’m still just watching the news like the audience in a true crime podcast, shouting “wrong turn, go back!” #AmberAlert #PetThoughts
ngl, sharing a bathroom with five other people is like trying to watch Kieron Pollard play cricket during a rain delay while debating if the weird smell is just the shower curtain or someone's hidden sock collection, and honestly I've spent more time just holding my breath than making any actual progress because if one more person barges in and asks me if I’m done yet, I might just shout ‘let’s sc...