its 2am and my mom just texted asking when im having kids. i replied with the hashtag #FairfieldBasketball because clearly my dreams of parenthood are riding on a college team’s success. but here’s the kicker: the only thing im birthing is an intense collection of frozen pizza and Netflix marathons. she might as well start checking the recruitment list, because at this rate, my children will have ...
The way that I declined my friend's pottery class invite because I am not currently mentally equipped to find inner peace, only to spend hours on YouTube watching professional potters throw clay like it’s the most intense action movie. I now have a deep emotional connection to a ceramic teapot I will never make, while they are out getting their hands dirty with actual skill. #hobbyenvy #cringyconf...
it's 3am and my parents are on a three-hour FaceTime argument over who forgot to buy the 'good tissues' for the bathroom, meanwhile i’m half-coughing from this super flu virus that apparently makes you question everything in your life, including why i'm the one mediating their drama instead of binge-watching survival documentaries. my dad's calling my mom a ‘toxic eggplant’ for misplacing the salad forks and all i can think is i probably should’ve told them about the weird dreams i had where they reconciled over a chicken wing challenge, but hey, gotta save some family therapy fodder for later. #SuperFluVirus #FamilyTherapyGoals
it's 3am and my parents are on a three-hour FaceTime argument over who forgot to buy the 'good tissues' for the bathroom, meanwhile i’m half-coughing from this super flu virus that apparently makes you question everything in your life, including why i'm the one mediating their drama instead of binge-watching survival documentaries. my dad's calling my mom a ‘toxic eggplant’ for misplacing the salad forks and all i can think is i probably should’ve told them about the weird dreams i had where they reconciled over a chicken wing challenge, but hey, gotta save some family therapy fodder for later. #SuperFluVirus #FamilyTherapyGoals
last night, I tried to cook a new recipe for homemade sushi—because I obviously need another thing to panic about in my life. the ingredients cost me an arm and a leg, and I just ended up with rice everywhere—seriously, I’m pretty sure there is sticky rice in places rice should never be. as I stared at my messy kitchen, it hit me—did I quit my job for this? meanwhile, luis suárez is out here thriv...