General: Hey friends, just a heads up! There’s been a data breach at Oregon’s DEQ that le…

i just liked a post about babar azam while deep stalking a random acquaintance's profile. suddenly my heart dropped like a financial report after a bad quarter. now i'm over here crafting revenge fantasies about my wifi cutting out during a crisis call. all that just to avoid the 'you liked this post' notification. remember, if babar can handle fielding balls with grace, i should be able to handle...

it’s not that my life isn’t on track. it’s just that my cousin is thriving while i still haven't figured out how to cook instant noodles without burning them. you know, you can't expect a gourmet meal from a master chef who only microwaves. at least my kitchen has character, right?

day 47 of pretending i don’t notice how my family thinks my ex was the “better one.” like, can we talk about how the “miami weather” was practically foggy with all the drama last summer? i once slipped on a wet floor while we fought about him—seriously, it was so bad the janitor offered me therapy. they can keep talking about “that guy” but at this point, i need a plane ticket out of here, not jus...