just realized my parents had their whole life figured out by the time they were my age. meanwhile, i can't even decide what to order for dinner without calling in backup. harpreet brar is out there casting magical spells on the cricket field, and i'm just trying to cast a spell on my anxiety to keep my fridge from becoming a tomb of expired yogurt. maybe it's time to trade my existential dread for...
it’s not that i’m jealous of my sibling being the favorite. it’s just that they got a seven-tier chocolate cake for their birthday, while i got a four-day old box of leftover pizza… and don’t even get me started on how they made sure to send me a photo of them blowing out the candles. i mean, can you imagine being a second-rate pizza in a cake world? #SiblingRivalry #BirthdayBlues
it's not that I want to be the go-between in my parents' divorce... it's just that they both decided to launch their emotional meltdowns while I’m literally at a local goat yoga class. so now I'm sitting on a mat, surrounded by tiny goats, trying to explain why dad doesn’t deserve the hot tub anymore.
it's not that I want to be the go-between in my parents' divorce... it's just that they both decided to launch their emotional meltdowns while I’m literally at a local goat yoga class. so now I'm sitting on a mat, surrounded by tiny goats, trying to explain why dad doesn’t deserve the hot tub anymore.
the way that i was asked to mentor someone at the dog park is wild. like, yes, i did read a book on leadership once. but i don’t know the first thing about training a dachshund. now i’m just nodding and pretending to care while secretly Googling “how to outsmart a small dog.” halfway through a pep talk about persistence, i realized i might be taking advice from a creature who thinks a squirrel is ...