it’s four a.m. and i just realized i have memorized every single episode of that weird gardening show. i don’t even garden. the hosts don’t know my name, yet i have written them 13 letters detailing my hypothetical compost strategy. meanwhile, the company that pays my bills will drop me faster than a potato off a roller coaster, and i am here plotting my daytime television debut in a spinoff serie...
no because i just found out my ex is dating my friend, and they literally had their first date at the 24-hour diner where i confessed my deepest secrets to them. like, do they think i am just out here WAITING to be haunted by the ghost of decisions past? #whatjusthappened #isthisrealife
no because my parents just showed up and saw the real ME. they thought i was a well-rounded adult, but they walked in on me painstakingly constructing a taco-themed LEGO set while wearing pajamas with llamas on them. I’m talking full immersion, soft music, the works. i looked them dead in the eye and said, “do you not understand the delicate balance of art and snack?”
no because my parents just showed up and saw the real ME. they thought i was a well-rounded adult, but they walked in on me painstakingly constructing a taco-themed LEGO set while wearing pajamas with llamas on them. I’m talking full immersion, soft music, the works. i looked them dead in the eye and said, “do you not understand the delicate balance of art and snack?”
woke up to the weather forecast announcing a snowstorm and instantly started panicking about how i am going to keep my 12 succulent plants alive without overspending on heaters. meanwhile, my whole week is haunted by my unpaid bills that seem to grow like those plants... now i just stare out the window watching the snow pile up like my anxiety while internally screaming about my very REAL decision...