i am convinced that the moment my life hits the reset button, i will blossom into a highly accomplished figure in extreme ironing—because who else would drape a suit on the edge of a cliff while asking if my Instagram followers would respect me more? is it me, or are we all just one bizarre hobby away from an identity crisis—daring to look ridiculous while pretending it’s a lifestyle choice? the i...
it’s 2am and i’m Googling “how to teach origami” because my cousin thinks i’m an expert since i folded a paper crane once at Thanksgiving. somehow, she’s staring at me expectantly, like i have a PhD in folding paper—so here i am, clutching a wrinkled instruction sheet while my search history fills with phrases like “origami for absolute dummies” and “how not to make a paper plane.” after 30 minute...
not gonna lie, I lowkey checked the bottom drawer of my desk yesterday, you know, the one filled with random stuff like rubber bands and expired coupons, and I found my old diary from 2013 – and y’all, I had a full on 2-page entry dedicated to how much I loved salad dressing as a metaphor for LIFE. like, who even thinks like that? I swear it was more profound than anything I've written in the last decade. I had visions of becoming a dressing ambassador... and now I just pretend to be an adult with no dreams.
not gonna lie, I lowkey checked the bottom drawer of my desk yesterday, you know, the one filled with random stuff like rubber bands and expired coupons, and I found my old diary from 2013 – and y’all, I had a full on 2-page entry dedicated to how much I loved salad dressing as a metaphor for LIFE. like, who even thinks like that? I swear it was more profound than anything I've written in the last decade. I had visions of becoming a dressing ambassador... and now I just pretend to be an adult with no dreams.
i just accidentally unsent a message about my bizarre collection of miniature rubber ducks. turns out my friend already saw it, and now they think i’m a duck-loving weirdo who should probably have their own reality show. all i wanted was to convey my confusion about their tiny hats, not to reveal my impending identity crisis. #unexpectedembarrassment #quirkycollections