not gonna lie, I just spent an hour crafting the perfect text to my neighbor about borrowing their hedge trimmer. after forty-seven edits, I settled for 'ok'. now I’m hiding behind my curtains, praying they don’t knock on my door to discuss the future of our garden, which I only mentioned in passing. what if they ask about my hedges? I haven’t trimmed them in months.
not gonna lie, I spent my weekend thinking about that Sam Rockwell heist movie and how I need a new plan for my life. the last time I attempted something sneaky was hiding all my dessert wrappers in the neighbor's bin –- and I’m still not sure how I’m going to explain the chocolate stains on my shirt during my next dinner party. so, here's the thing — when I act out, it's mostly like I'm practicin...
i just found out about that peaceful village where the police station is always empty. i mean, how can a place have no drama, no chaos, and still function? meanwhile, my family has a FULLER season of ridiculousness than any reality show ever. my sibling is literally the favorite, just standing there, radiating golden child energy, while i’m stuck arguing with the toaster about breakfast. i daydream about being adopted by that village so i can have my own little escape from being the backup plan. can i just pack my bags and join that drama-free paradise? #Nbt #SiblingRivalry
i just found out about that peaceful village where the police station is always empty. i mean, how can a place have no drama, no chaos, and still function? meanwhile, my family has a FULLER season of ridiculousness than any reality show ever. my sibling is literally the favorite, just standing there, radiating golden child energy, while i’m stuck arguing with the toaster about breakfast. i daydream about being adopted by that village so i can have my own little escape from being the backup plan. can i just pack my bags and join that drama-free paradise? #Nbt #SiblingRivalry
wait, i used to roll my eyes at the drama around rohit pawar like it was an over-the-top soap opera. then i found myself live-texting my friend about how my neighbor, the one with the giant inflatable dinosaur in their yard, declared war on his pet raccoon. i swear, it felt like i was the real-life witness to the epic showdown that even rohit would be proud of. maybe it’s because i spend too much ...