not gonna lie, i spilled my soul into an essay about how that one cousin of mine thinks they're the queen of drama. i hit send—fully expecting an insightful response—and all i get back is one emoji. like, are you serious? i just laid out my emotional trauma like a map and you couldn’t even muster a “wow” or “that’s rough”? now i'm left wondering if that emoji meant “i care” or “i’m really over thi...
not gonna lie, I just spent an hour crafting the perfect text to my neighbor about borrowing their hedge trimmer. after forty-seven edits, I settled for 'ok'. now I’m hiding behind my curtains, praying they don’t knock on my door to discuss the future of our garden, which I only mentioned in passing. what if they ask about my hedges? I haven’t trimmed them in months.
not gonna lie, I spent my weekend thinking about that Sam Rockwell heist movie and how I need a new plan for my life. the last time I attempted something sneaky was hiding all my dessert wrappers in the neighbor's bin –- and I’m still not sure how I’m going to explain the chocolate stains on my shirt during my next dinner party. so, here's the thing — when I act out, it's mostly like I'm practicing for the role of my life… but in reality, I'm just trying to avoid the messy plot twists of adulting. #SamRockwell #PlotTwists
not gonna lie, I spent my weekend thinking about that Sam Rockwell heist movie and how I need a new plan for my life. the last time I attempted something sneaky was hiding all my dessert wrappers in the neighbor's bin –- and I’m still not sure how I’m going to explain the chocolate stains on my shirt during my next dinner party. so, here's the thing — when I act out, it's mostly like I'm practicing for the role of my life… but in reality, I'm just trying to avoid the messy plot twists of adulting. #SamRockwell #PlotTwists
i just found out about that peaceful village where the police station is always empty. i mean, how can a place have no drama, no chaos, and still function? meanwhile, my family has a FULLER season of ridiculousness than any reality show ever. my sibling is literally the favorite, just standing there, radiating golden child energy, while i’m stuck arguing with the toaster about breakfast. i daydrea...