has anyone ever felt like they have a more complicated relationship with their coffee than with any human being? like, I literally asked my barista how their weekend was, and I genuinely listened, as if they were my therapist. I know their order, I know their favorite pastry. they don’t even know my name! it’s wild. I am basically IN LOVE with my morning coffee. I should be asking it to go to dinn...
literally thought I was just trying to impress someone with my artisanal sourdough skills—but turns out I was just reinforcing their belief that I’m “too much” while they lift weights for fun. they said they don’t do relationships and I have baked thirty loaves to cope—flooding my kitchen with bread while they’re probably in their third round of squats. now my therapy bill is almost as heavy as th...
literally caught my coworker taking credit for a project I spent weeks on. watched them act like the star of the show, all while I was sitting there, perfecting my award acceptance speech in my head. now I’m considering starting a blog on workplace betrayal. it's either that or throwing myself into a melodramatic Netflix binge. should I send them my latest podcast on the “complexity of deceit”? #ScooterBraun #WorkplaceDrama
literally caught my coworker taking credit for a project I spent weeks on. watched them act like the star of the show, all while I was sitting there, perfecting my award acceptance speech in my head. now I’m considering starting a blog on workplace betrayal. it's either that or throwing myself into a melodramatic Netflix binge. should I send them my latest podcast on the “complexity of deceit”? #ScooterBraun #WorkplaceDrama
my parents are getting divorced, and somehow, i’m the mediator. just had to explain to my dad that sending a card with a cat dressed as a pirate to my mom won’t actually convince her to come back. i swear, i might as well start offering therapy sessions for dysfunctional pets while i’m at it… wait, i actually know where that cat lives.