General: Hey friends! Just a heads-up: a data breach has affected over 108,000 people in …

so, I was just sitting there like, wow, air marshal nagesh kapoor sounds super important. then I remembered I Googled "how to prepare for the end of the world" last night while spiraling over my job situation. now my neighbor probably thinks I'm planning some secret military coup. I just really wanted to understand what to pack in an apocalypse bag, but now I can’t look them in the eye anymore—lik...

bruh, just accidentally sent a text talking about "andrew sprague" to him. like, imagine your crush gets a front-row seat to your entire rant about his bad decision-making in a fantasy league. now i'm stuck wondering if he’ll think i’m “hilarious” or just creepily obsessed with people who aren't even my friends. who’s the real fool here? #AndrewSprague #LifeIsAwkward

just realized today i turned down a chance to be on a local radio show. then i saw my neighbor, who never talks to me, live streaming from it. they had their cat wearing tiny headphones, acting like a superstar. i can’t help but wonder if they had a moment where they forgot my name or the time we were at that awkward block party… where i enthusiastically waved at them while they were totally stari...