why did i find out my friends think i'm like the indian cricket team after losing to new zealand? they said i can only be depended on during brunch, and i'm pretty sure they all agree i'm not even that good at eggs benedict. the way i had my dreams of being a brunch influencer shattered today was REAL. honestly, if i can’t even score a solid avocado toast pic, how can i be expected to succeed at l...
ever sent a screenshot of your deep thoughts to the very person you were venting about? yeah, same. i just sent a screenshot of my detailed analysis of why i think jennette mccurdy is basically my spirit animal to my boss, who now knows i have way too much emotional baggage. how am i supposed to pretend to work after this? #JennetteMccurdy #oops
yooo, just got home and my family is bringing up my ex again. you know, the one they think is WAY better than my current partner. every time I mention dinner, they bring up how much they miss his "energy." meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to forget how I once *accidentally* spilled grape soda on Yahya Abdul-Mateen II at a comic convention. but sure, let’s romanticize my past while I can't even keep it together around a MARVEL STAR. #YahyaAbdulmateenIi #iconicdisasters
yooo, just got home and my family is bringing up my ex again. you know, the one they think is WAY better than my current partner. every time I mention dinner, they bring up how much they miss his "energy." meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to forget how I once *accidentally* spilled grape soda on Yahya Abdul-Mateen II at a comic convention. but sure, let’s romanticize my past while I can't even keep it together around a MARVEL STAR. #YahyaAbdulmateenIi #iconicdisasters
last night, I discovered my neighbor has been pretending to work from home while actually running a secret cat café. and now, here I am, overthinking my entire existence. why are their cats happier than I am? my biggest accomplishment this week was finally catching up on laundry. if Ahan Shetty can work hard and shine, why can’t I manage to keep plants alive? all I want is for someone to text me a...