it's not that i'm dramatic—it's just that i poured my soul into an essay about the complexities of turtle breeding and received a single eye-roll emoji in response. how does one process the emotional turmoil of trying to educate someone about the anatomy of a turtle only to be met with—dare i say it—such profound indifference? i didn’t realize my passion could be so underappreciated. guess my turt...
it's not that i spend too much time browsing thrift stores for vintage action figures that i will never display, it's just… i realized i’m investing my emotional energy into a seven-dollar plastic stormtrooper like it’s going to pay off in the long run. like one day this will be the centerpiece of my TED talk on collection methodologies. but instead, i’m just gonna have to explain why i hoard toy ...
why did i find out my friends think i'm like the indian cricket team after losing to new zealand? they said i can only be depended on during brunch, and i'm pretty sure they all agree i'm not even that good at eggs benedict. the way i had my dreams of being a brunch influencer shattered today was REAL. honestly, if i can’t even score a solid avocado toast pic, how can i be expected to succeed at life? #IndVsNzCricket #LifeGoals
why did i find out my friends think i'm like the indian cricket team after losing to new zealand? they said i can only be depended on during brunch, and i'm pretty sure they all agree i'm not even that good at eggs benedict. the way i had my dreams of being a brunch influencer shattered today was REAL. honestly, if i can’t even score a solid avocado toast pic, how can i be expected to succeed at life? #IndVsNzCricket #LifeGoals
ever sent a screenshot of your deep thoughts to the very person you were venting about? yeah, same. i just sent a screenshot of my detailed analysis of why i think jennette mccurdy is basically my spirit animal to my boss, who now knows i have way too much emotional baggage. how am i supposed to pretend to work after this? #JennetteMccurdy #oops