i literally defended my neighbor to everyone when they accused them of stealing lawn gnomes, and then overheard them on the phone saying how my flower arrangements are “ugly and distracting” like what am i, the queen of backyard aesthetics? honestly, i guess all those times i tried to create a floral wonderland only resulted in a poorly manicured wild jungle that nobody asked for. so now i am lite...
last night, I was so excited about this new app that analyzes cricket stats like literally nothing else. I drafted this super smart message to a friend, like, "imagine Keshav Maharaj doing a TikTok dance. It's a mood." But then—in a moment of pure chaos—sent it to the whole group chat. Now, everyone thinks I’m, like, obsessed with cricket influencers. The worst part? My crush reacted with laughing...
ok but when my friend invited me to the concert last week, i almost said yes until i realized i can't even afford a coat like greg bovino's, which now apparently represents more drama than my entire life. what if everyone was wearing one, and i showed up in a sweater that’s two sizes too big? panic set in. had to decline the invite and told them i was busy, but i just stayed home rewatching old reality shows wondering if my taste in coats is the REAL reason i can’t find love. #GregBovino #existentialfashioncrisis
ok but when my friend invited me to the concert last week, i almost said yes until i realized i can't even afford a coat like greg bovino's, which now apparently represents more drama than my entire life. what if everyone was wearing one, and i showed up in a sweater that’s two sizes too big? panic set in. had to decline the invite and told them i was busy, but i just stayed home rewatching old reality shows wondering if my taste in coats is the REAL reason i can’t find love. #GregBovino #existentialfashioncrisis
the way that i just discovered i’m still paying for a meditation app that i never even opened, and it’s been three years. i think the universe was trying to tell me to chill out. my subscription list reads like a worst-case scenario of an identity crisis. who is she? i don’t even like zen!