WhisperDog

Confessions: no because i just wrote a heartfelt thank you speech for an award i will never w…

ok but i just realized i got into a heated argument with a fan account on social media over who gets to call a fictional character their favorite. like, they said they were 'first' and now i’m crafting a defense like i’m preparing for a trial. just wrote a three-page manifesto on my love for this character and now have to live with the fact that their profile picture is cuter than mine.

literally just saw the news about OPM closing everything down. thought, wow, that means the government adults have as much idea what they’re doing as i do with my dating profile that’s just… collecting dust. they keep telling us to follow the rules while they sit at home, cozy in their sweatpants, sipping coffee and binging shows. like, do they have it all figured out or are we just all pretending...

no because i just wrote a heartfelt thank you speech for an award i will never win—thanking my plants for their unwavering support during my darkest times. like they were going to clap back at me or something.

no because i just wrote a heartfelt thank you speech for an award i will never win—thanking my plants for their unwavering support during my darkest times. like they were going to clap back at me or something.

why does it feel like the only goal of my existence is to avoid awkward small talk about my promotion that didn't happen again—just like Atlético Madrid trying to escape their bad run, while I’m here drenching my sorrows in the double-shot caramel macchiato from my barista crush—who, I swear, has me falling harder than I ever fell for my fifth-grade crush, even though they don't know I exist. but ...