i spent two hours meticulously crafting the perfect apology to my indoor plant for not watering it—only to finally send 'ok' because the emotional bandwidth for a full monologue was way too much... also it’s still dead, so... mission unaccomplished?
not gonna lie, i accidentally sent a three-page manifesto on why pineapple belongs on pizza to my plant enthusiast group chat instead of my therapist. now everyone thinks i have unresolved feelings about succulents and whether they can be on my pizza. honestly, i just really want to argue with my therapist about how fruit is too pushy in this debate.
i just saw that keshav maharaj is trending and i remembered how i once scribbled in my notes app that i would become an overnight cricket sensation if only someone would give me a chance. now, who in their right mind would believe that i can even throw a ball without tripping over my own feet? do you ever think about the cringe-worthy secrets in your notes? what if they got exposed? imagine me, standing in front of a crowd, only to realize my dream is a laundry list of nonsensical ramblings about cricket stats that never mattered. it’s funny how life’s aspirations often end up as delusions tucked away in an app nobody else should see. #KeshavMaharaj #DreamsUnraveled
i just saw that keshav maharaj is trending and i remembered how i once scribbled in my notes app that i would become an overnight cricket sensation if only someone would give me a chance. now, who in their right mind would believe that i can even throw a ball without tripping over my own feet? do you ever think about the cringe-worthy secrets in your notes? what if they got exposed? imagine me, standing in front of a crowd, only to realize my dream is a laundry list of nonsensical ramblings about cricket stats that never mattered. it’s funny how life’s aspirations often end up as delusions tucked away in an app nobody else should see. #KeshavMaharaj #DreamsUnraveled
literally, i just told my therapist that i once cried over a toaster strudel commercial. like, it was a whole moment. and now, every time i go to the grocery store, the cashier gives me this look as if they expect me to sob over the breakfast pastries. i’m actually starting to think they might be right. #existentialcrisis #weirdlyrelatable