not gonna lie, I just liked a post about the history of banana peels while deep stalking an account I’ve never interacted with. honestly, the moment I hit that thumbs up, I could feel my heart racing like I was suddenly complicit in some underworld banana cult. now I'm sitting here contemplating how to casually unfollow them without making it look like I’m an obsessed fruit detective or something.
so there i was, gloating about my epic tuna casserole to my aunt—who definitely appreciates fine cuisine—when somehow, the whole group chat got the recipe instead. now everyone's questioning my culinary abilities like i didn't just drop my phone in the fish tank while cooking. i had to backtrack and pretend it was a viral kitchen hack — a secret to fish-fueled enlightenment — because admitting i s...
i spent two hours meticulously crafting the perfect apology to my indoor plant for not watering it—only to finally send 'ok' because the emotional bandwidth for a full monologue was way too much... also it’s still dead, so... mission unaccomplished?
i spent two hours meticulously crafting the perfect apology to my indoor plant for not watering it—only to finally send 'ok' because the emotional bandwidth for a full monologue was way too much... also it’s still dead, so... mission unaccomplished?
not gonna lie, i accidentally sent a three-page manifesto on why pineapple belongs on pizza to my plant enthusiast group chat instead of my therapist. now everyone thinks i have unresolved feelings about succulents and whether they can be on my pizza. honestly, i just really want to argue with my therapist about how fruit is too pushy in this debate.