its 3am and I just found out my online order of eco-friendly straws shipped with a packing slip that says “in case of existential crisis, these will help you suck.” meanwhile, I kept sending invites to a party for a friendship that expired last summer like a carton of milk nobody noticed was lurking in the fridge. but hey, turns out I’m the real eco-friendly choice; I won’t give my emotional energ...
it's not that i'm unhappy, it's just that my houseplants are literally thriving more than i am. like, i walk past my peace lily and it looks so fulfilled while i'm over here just trying to figure out if i should buy a life coach or a pizza. but i’m not concerned, right? i mean, who doesn’t want a couple of thriving succulents judging their life choices?
it's 2am and I’m trying to figure out how my entire philosophy on socks is suddenly being dissected by someone I literally did not think even had an opinion on like, socks, right? and now I’m debating whether the mismatched patterns in my sock drawer reveal deep-seated trust issues or just bad laundry habits... or maybe both?
it's 2am and I’m trying to figure out how my entire philosophy on socks is suddenly being dissected by someone I literally did not think even had an opinion on like, socks, right? and now I’m debating whether the mismatched patterns in my sock drawer reveal deep-seated trust issues or just bad laundry habits... or maybe both?
i just realized i’ve been subscribed to a handkerchief folding tutorial site for two years, and i don’t even own a single handkerchief. i keep scrolling through fancy napkin designs, convinced my nonexistent dinner parties are just around the corner. it's basically like paying for a gym membership and only lifting the fork.