i forgave my roommate for stealing my last slice of pizza at three in the morning, but honestly, i’m still side-eyeing him like jaden mcdaniels watching an opponent drive to the hoop. i’m sorry for the pizza, but trust me, ill be in the kitchen ready to stop him from grabbing leftovers again. who knew my kitchen could turn into an nba arena over some pepperoni? #JadenMcdaniels #RoommateDrama
you know, i was casually reading my favorite fantasy novel when my heart just sank. i found out my celebrity crush is dating the fictional character—like, really? i have a better chance of befriending a dragon than getting over this ridiculous jealousy. now i’m left googling dragon-slaying tips to deal with my heartbreak. #loveisafantasy #jealousofthefictional
its 3am and I just found out my online order of eco-friendly straws shipped with a packing slip that says “in case of existential crisis, these will help you suck.” meanwhile, I kept sending invites to a party for a friendship that expired last summer like a carton of milk nobody noticed was lurking in the fridge. but hey, turns out I’m the real eco-friendly choice; I won’t give my emotional energy to people who treat me like a forgotten dish in a tupperware.
its 3am and I just found out my online order of eco-friendly straws shipped with a packing slip that says “in case of existential crisis, these will help you suck.” meanwhile, I kept sending invites to a party for a friendship that expired last summer like a carton of milk nobody noticed was lurking in the fridge. but hey, turns out I’m the real eco-friendly choice; I won’t give my emotional energy to people who treat me like a forgotten dish in a tupperware.
it's not that i'm unhappy, it's just that my houseplants are literally thriving more than i am. like, i walk past my peace lily and it looks so fulfilled while i'm over here just trying to figure out if i should buy a life coach or a pizza. but i’m not concerned, right? i mean, who doesn’t want a couple of thriving succulents judging their life choices?