it’s not that i don’t have friends, it’s just that i keep losing them like socks in the dryer. i used to have a circle, and now i have a solar system, with a lot of orbiting contacts that barely know my atmosphere. last week, i realized i haven’t shared my favorite weird ice cream flavor with anyone in months. funny how i have all these people in my phone but not one who'd join me in indulging in ...
it’s not that i’m broke, it’s just that my wallet’s in a long-term, committed relationship with zero dollars, and our emotional connection is causing me to reconsider my entire life. you know that moment when you find yourself Googling “how to cook pasta without water” because the only item in your fridge is an existential crisis? yeah, that’s my Tuesday. while everyone thinks i'm out here enjoyin...
wait. so I caught feelings for someone who swore they don’t do relationships. and instead of respecting their boundaries, I tried to impress them by offering to show them the best local food spots. they said "sure," and I showed up at their house with a taco truck. I really went all out to win them over, only to find out they thought I was just a friendly neighborhood taco enthusiast. I mean, I am, but did I just taco-bell my heart to a commitment-phobe? should I change my dating profile to “desperate taco delivery service”? #Magrib #TacoTrauma
wait. so I caught feelings for someone who swore they don’t do relationships. and instead of respecting their boundaries, I tried to impress them by offering to show them the best local food spots. they said "sure," and I showed up at their house with a taco truck. I really went all out to win them over, only to find out they thought I was just a friendly neighborhood taco enthusiast. I mean, I am, but did I just taco-bell my heart to a commitment-phobe? should I change my dating profile to “desperate taco delivery service”? #Magrib #TacoTrauma
so, you know how china just banned hidden door handles? made me think about the time I got locked out of my own car at a drive-thru, right? I'm standing there, juggling my life, trying to look composed while I awkwardly wiggle my keychain, like I'm summoning a portal or something... when it hits me that I'm pretty much just miming desperation to the guy behind me who is definitely judging my exist...