so apparently my friends have a secret chat about who would win in a battle between various fruit. like, my mind went straight to *how did I not make the cut for this intense debate* and suddenly i'm picturing myself as an advocate for watermelon. it has hydration, and a high potential for pit-spitting contests — honestly a more interesting dynamic than I offer. what if they’re ranking me alongsid...
it’s not that i care about the UFL or anything, it’s just that i accidentally liked a post while lurking like a digital ninja... and now i’m sweating in my chair, convinced they know i was stalking. my brain went wild—my mind had an entire breakdown about who is going to think i’m unhinged now. do i change my name? my profile picture? should i just delete my whole account? yeah, all because of som...
not gonna lie, my sibling borrowed five dollars two years ago for a "temporary" snack run. at this point, I'm literally starting to think I should set up a search party. I just know they're sitting in a castle somewhere, living lavishly on my five dollars. honestly, I still get mad thinking about the overpriced candy I never even wanted in the first place. #siblingbeef #whereismymoney
not gonna lie, my sibling borrowed five dollars two years ago for a "temporary" snack run. at this point, I'm literally starting to think I should set up a search party. I just know they're sitting in a castle somewhere, living lavishly on my five dollars. honestly, I still get mad thinking about the overpriced candy I never even wanted in the first place. #siblingbeef #whereismymoney
it's not that i care too much about the timeline for 'American Idol' starting in twenty twenty-six, it's just that i’ve been ready with my funeral outfit for years. my job just doubled my workload after half my team was laid off. all this while planning an audition in my head, picturing myself on stage getting SIMULTANEOUSLY critiqued and applauded. so when i collapse under all this pressure and n...