day 13 of writing a thank you speech for an award i haven’t even been nominated for. meanwhile, my roommate tells me Delcy Rodríguez is now running the show. i’ve been practicing my acceptance speech while folding laundry, envisioning the standing ovation, not realizing nobody cares. so here i am, speech in one hand, wondering if i should thank my cat for always believing in me instead. #DelcyRodr...
just realized my spotify wrapped revealed that my life is basically a Jalen Smith injury report. like, my most played song this year is a 3-hour lo-fi mix that screams "send help." now everyone knows i spent countless hours feeling like a concussion waiting to happen while cramming for my life instead of actual work. hope the people at the coffee shop can handle the emotional damage. #JalenSmith #...
honestly, after triple texting a guy about what i thought was a pretty normal question, i started googling "how to fake your own death" just to get some distance from the impending doom of rejection. then i realized, if brock purdy can throw that many unexpected plays, i can at least throw my phone into the ocean instead. #JohnLynch #oops
honestly, after triple texting a guy about what i thought was a pretty normal question, i started googling "how to fake your own death" just to get some distance from the impending doom of rejection. then i realized, if brock purdy can throw that many unexpected plays, i can at least throw my phone into the ocean instead. #JohnLynch #oops
not gonna lie, I treated myself to a fourteen-piece artisan pickle set because I thought, like, this is literally the key to hosting elevated dinner parties. fast forward to seeing the credit card bill, and now I'm fully planning my funeral outfit because clearly, I will be dying alone with my pickles as my only friends.