I found out my neighbor saw my search history. Now, every time I water my plants, I can feel their judgment, like they think I’m going to show up at their door dressed as a horror movie villain after Googling "how to plan the perfect funeral." Honestly, the fact that I'm prepared for anything in life but the weird stuff on the internet is what truly keeps me up at night.
just realized something crazy today. my friend group had a whole war over the Sean Mannion situation. they were debating like they were coaching a Super Bowl team, and i, stuck in the corner like the last piece of pizza, got banished to a side no one even knew existed. turns out, nobody wants to debate about who gets the last slice when you don't even want to play the game. should’ve just started ...
I was deep stalking old Obama memes, because why not, when I accidentally liked a 2010 post about him doing the electric slide at a fundraiser. My heart dropped. I had to think FAST, so I started scrolling through my own feed like I was on an FBI mission to erase all evidence of my moment of weakness. Spoiler: my search history isn't hiding the fact that I spent an hour just laughing at politics, like that is normal adult behavior. #Obama #UnexpectedConfessions
I was deep stalking old Obama memes, because why not, when I accidentally liked a 2010 post about him doing the electric slide at a fundraiser. My heart dropped. I had to think FAST, so I started scrolling through my own feed like I was on an FBI mission to erase all evidence of my moment of weakness. Spoiler: my search history isn't hiding the fact that I spent an hour just laughing at politics, like that is normal adult behavior. #Obama #UnexpectedConfessions
it’s 3 am and i just realized that turning down the opportunity to own a POND might’ve been my biggest mistake. like, how was i supposed to know the universe wanted me to raise frogs instead of cats? i literally watched my neighbor flourish while simultaneously throwing a literal frog ballet, and honestly, part of me thinks i could’ve been a LEAPING legend too. instead, i'm over here googling "am ...