So I just tried to follow one of those ‘easy’ online cooking tutorials, and let me tell you, 10 minutes in, my kitchen looked like a crime scene. The ingredients were all “chop this, sauté that,” and I’m over here questioning my life choices while the smoke alarm serenades me. Can we talk about how these chefs clearly have a personal vendetta against us home cooks? Like, who are they trying to imp...
You ever notice how every time you swear you'll start eating healthy, it feels like all the food gods conspire against you? Like suddenly, every restaurant you pass is hosting a "Buy One, Get One Free" pizza night. Meanwhile, my fridge is just sitting there with kale and a single sad carrot, judging me like it’s my personal life coach. Honestly, I’d rather face a bear in the wild than make a salad...
I think I'm officially a pro at avoiding responsibility. Like, I asked my boss for a "mental health day" and ended up binge-watching three seasons of a show instead. Now I’m just praying she doesn’t ask me what I did with my time off. Honestly, is it bad that my biggest accomplishment this week was getting my plants to survive another day? At this point, my succulents are the only ones thriving while I’m over here pretending I’m a functional adult. Anyone else just faking it till they make it?
I think I'm officially a pro at avoiding responsibility. Like, I asked my boss for a "mental health day" and ended up binge-watching three seasons of a show instead. Now I’m just praying she doesn’t ask me what I did with my time off. Honestly, is it bad that my biggest accomplishment this week was getting my plants to survive another day? At this point, my succulents are the only ones thriving while I’m over here pretending I’m a functional adult. Anyone else just faking it till they make it?
Why do we always say “you can’t put a price on happiness” when some of us would literally sell our souls for a decent meal and a Netflix subscription? Like, what if the happiest moment of my life is just me devouring a triple cheeseburger while binge-watching some reality show? Is that so wrong? I’m just saying, if happiness can be bought, let’s stop pretending we’re all Zen masters and start thro...