literally spent the last week crafting a perfect escape room challenge in my basement, right? had my friends come over, thought they were gonna love it. i get up during the reveal, all excited, and my boss literally praises my cousin’s cheesy IKEA hack as “groundbreaking team effort.” guess what? cousin’s never even BEEN to my place, but you know what? at least i know where all the traps are when ...
honestly, i looked in the mirror today and saw my parents staring back at me. like, who even gave them the right to show up in MY reflection while i’m dealing with the stress of life and now there’s a josh cuevas injury report about a foot?! if he can’t get it together, what hope do i have? im out here thinking i’d rather have an existential crisis over sports injuries than this awkward resemblanc...
i was just calculating how long it’d take to save for a life change and honestly, i almost fainted. like, how did i end up with more debt than i have years left on this planet? meanwhile, ty simpson is out there living his best life, throwing touchdowns while i can’t even throw a decent birthday party for myself without losing count of how much i spent on cake. if this keeps up, my big change is just going to be one continuous existential crisis on repeat. #TySimpson #existentialcrisis
i was just calculating how long it’d take to save for a life change and honestly, i almost fainted. like, how did i end up with more debt than i have years left on this planet? meanwhile, ty simpson is out there living his best life, throwing touchdowns while i can’t even throw a decent birthday party for myself without losing count of how much i spent on cake. if this keeps up, my big change is just going to be one continuous existential crisis on repeat. #TySimpson #existentialcrisis
bruh, just saw that whole thing about the stephen daley injury and like, what if that's all of us just WAITING for a chance to shine while the world throws curveballs? lmao, i’ve been pretending to be okay at adulting—buying salad instead of pizza just to look ‘responsible’—but inside i’m just one foot injury away from another existential crisis. when will i be ready for my ROSE BOWL moment? hones...