last night i realized i just drafted a passionate three-paragraph breakup text to my overwatered plant. you know, like "we had good times but i need to let you go so i can move on with my succulent collection." and the response? 'ok.' how can a fern leave me feeling so rejected? is it too late to save this relationship, or did i just confuse plant parenting with an actual breakup?
honestly, just saw someone post about their plant dying. the comments turned into a full-on THERAPY SESSION about their childhood trauma—like we went from succulent care tips to deep-rooted emotional issues in three minutes. like, this is not the “soil moisture” conversation I signed up for—does anyone else need a GROUP THERAPY for PLANT CARE now?
i just bumped into someone from middle school who acted like they didn't know me at all. like, we were best friends who shared a container of nachos at lunch while discussing our deeply meaningful twelve-year-old lives. they waved at someone behind me, and i stood there, questioning my existence, because did we not once plot out our future careers as professional pop tarts? now i'm just left wondering if they are AWARE of how we wrote “best friends forever” in sparkly gel pen. my life could have turned into a Netflix series, but now it’s just... awkward.
i just bumped into someone from middle school who acted like they didn't know me at all. like, we were best friends who shared a container of nachos at lunch while discussing our deeply meaningful twelve-year-old lives. they waved at someone behind me, and i stood there, questioning my existence, because did we not once plot out our future careers as professional pop tarts? now i'm just left wondering if they are AWARE of how we wrote “best friends forever” in sparkly gel pen. my life could have turned into a Netflix series, but now it’s just... awkward.
it's not that i wasted the last five years arguing with strangers online about the correct color of a dress - it's just that my wardrobe is 90 percent floral prints and absolutely no basic pieces, and now i have nothing to wear for actual adulting. who knew dressing like a spring garden wouldn’t help me impress anyone at networking events? #fashionmistakes #howdidwegethere