i always think about how i was a real jerk to my neighbor in middle school. i mean, one time i threw a snowball at their dog, which is basically an act of war in suburban America. now i see them out walking their dog, and the only thing stopping me from yelling an apology is that their dog looks at me like it remembers and wants revenge. it’s ironic, really, how now i’m just trying to scrape by an...
honestly, i found out my ex was dating my friend because they posted a couple's pic. literally THE WEEK i decided to finally open that dating app again. now i’m just sitting here contemplating if a bad romantic choice was better than never making any choice at all. my profile is still blank, by the way. just like my dating life. #GoldMcx #AwkwardSilence
last night, i finally did the math on how long it would take to own my dream portable sauna. it turns out, if i skip groceries and any form of social interaction for a year, i might just get there. the moment of clarity hit me like a truck, and i realized i might as well start training to be a hermit now. so now my life goal is to avoid people for a whole year, just to be a sweaty mess alone in my backyard. guess that makes me the world's most anxious sauna dweller!
last night, i finally did the math on how long it would take to own my dream portable sauna. it turns out, if i skip groceries and any form of social interaction for a year, i might just get there. the moment of clarity hit me like a truck, and i realized i might as well start training to be a hermit now. so now my life goal is to avoid people for a whole year, just to be a sweaty mess alone in my backyard. guess that makes me the world's most anxious sauna dweller!
so I was casually scrolling through an old family photo album when I stumbled upon a photo of my great-grandfather, and he looked suspiciously like an international mime, which was weird enough, but then I noticed the turtleneck and beret combo he was rockin', and it felt off, but whatever, then I saw a note in the corner saying “Don’t let anyone know we’re not REALLY from here,” and suddenly I wa...