not gonna lie, i just had to mediate my parents' divorce like i'm some sort of family therapist or something. meanwhile, i'm over here rethinking my life choices while listening to one of them rant about the wrong type of curtains. honestly, if rich bisaccia can handle an entire football team, then i can definitely figure out how to convince them that neither wants a "splitting everything equally"...
not gonna lie, I just realized I was supposed to write a six thousand word report about the social implications of spoon collecting - two weeks ago, and I spent that time trying to decide whether a pink flamingo in my front yard is art or just a cry for help.
the way that i just found out the new hire i TRAINED makes more money than me - while i can barely convince myself to meal prep on a Thursday. like, how does one spend their entire week being completely IGNORANT of the actual pay structure? am i really supposed to look at their excited face while we watch the plant in the corner die slowly, and act like this isn't a personal betrayal? sometimes i wonder if my sarcasm and self-doubt need a raise too—too bad they don’t come with health benefits.
the way that i just found out the new hire i TRAINED makes more money than me - while i can barely convince myself to meal prep on a Thursday. like, how does one spend their entire week being completely IGNORANT of the actual pay structure? am i really supposed to look at their excited face while we watch the plant in the corner die slowly, and act like this isn't a personal betrayal? sometimes i wonder if my sarcasm and self-doubt need a raise too—too bad they don’t come with health benefits.
wait, i was literally staring at my gaming setup, thinking about how i invested more time planning my avatar’s BACKSTORY than actually leveling them up. my roommate walked in and casually said they’d prefer to binge reality TV over me having existential crises in a digital world. as if SKIP BAYLESS doesn’t give me enough material for existential dread about my life choices! now i can’t decide if i...