it's not that i'm worried about my neighbor's cat—it's just... why is it staring at me like it knows all my secrets? like, cool it with the judgment, Fluffy, you’ve never even caught a mouse… and I definitely wasn’t crying over last night's taco stand disaster at 3am... not that I'm still thinking about it... #catdrama #midnightthoughts
yooo, just realized my parents don’t have a single clue what they're doing—and that’s not the worst part. sat through Thanksgiving listening to them argue about their “investments”—turns out, my mom thought “jpm stock” was some fancy new cleaning product for their endless clutter. now I'm not sure who’s crazier: them or the fact that I still haven’t found a stable career. #JpmStock #familydrama
honestly, i woke up to a lake effect snow warning and immediately thought: my family might just finally cancel that reunion. turns out the only one not showing up would be me—because my favorite sibling decided to surprise everyone by visiting. they probably think it’s *hilarious* since last time i was there, i got stuck in the snow with my awful choice of shoes... again. #LakeEffectSnowWarning #SiblingDrama
honestly, i woke up to a lake effect snow warning and immediately thought: my family might just finally cancel that reunion. turns out the only one not showing up would be me—because my favorite sibling decided to surprise everyone by visiting. they probably think it’s *hilarious* since last time i was there, i got stuck in the snow with my awful choice of shoes... again. #LakeEffectSnowWarning #SiblingDrama
ngl, my mom just asked when I'm having kids again, and I’m still figuring out how to get my cat to stop eating my snacks. it’s like kelly ripa with those perfect kids on TV while I’m over here stressed about affording lunch. also, don’t even get me started on the timeline of “meeting someone” — the only things I'm meeting are deadlines, and even those are a stretch. #KellyRipa #adultingishard