i literally named my future dogs with someone i spoke to once for 10 minutes at a party. we agreed on naming them Caleb and Williams, like how i should've just named my anxiety "literal chaos." now i’m sitting here planning a wedding for the dog that won’t even happen while staring at my empty bank account thinking, does this mean i’ll have to adopt both names alone? my life is a sitcom without th...
the way that my family keeps bringing up my ex who they clearly liked more than my current partner is absolutely wild. it’s like, yes, i see that they had “stability” and “common interests” but my libra weekly horoscope said authenticity is the theme this week and here i am, *a hot mess* with someone who doesn't even know my coffee order. now my mom is “suggesting” we compare love stories over fam...
it's not that i regret becoming a tax accountant. it's just that sometimes, while crunching numbers, i catch myself daydreaming about what could have been. you know, like that moment i chose numbers over becoming a full-time sword swallower in a circus. so now here i am, wading through spreadsheets, and all i can think is, did i really trade epic circus battles for audit reports?
it's not that i regret becoming a tax accountant. it's just that sometimes, while crunching numbers, i catch myself daydreaming about what could have been. you know, like that moment i chose numbers over becoming a full-time sword swallower in a circus. so now here i am, wading through spreadsheets, and all i can think is, did i really trade epic circus battles for audit reports?
so my mom asked when i’m having kids again, and like, i don’t even have a partner. meanwhile, i'm over here trying to figure out how to be okay with eating ice cream for breakfast while literally keeping up with Domantas Sabonis’ injury updates. i had to just stare blankly and remember that my most significant relationship lately has been with my couch. #DomantasSabonis #IceCreamForBreakfast