literally just found out about martial law and remembered that time I named my future pets with someone I’ve literally only spoken to once. what is it about global chaos that makes me daydream about naming a cat "Revolution" and a dog "Anarchy"? does this mean I need to start over with my life choices? #MartialLaw #ExistentialCrisis
literally found out my friends think i’m the “Art Rooney II” of our group. like, who knew organizing a pizza night meant i am apparently running an NFL franchise? honestly, if my life was on ESPN, they would be analyzing my life choices like they were game tape. meanwhile, i'm just here trying to decide which app to order from, waiting for someone to tell me my ‘offensive strategy’ should probably...
not gonna lie, i walked into a chocolate shop the other day to buy a small treat, and the cashier was a guy i swore was my college crush. i didn’t say anything, obviously. so as he rings up my single piece of dark chocolate, he casually mentions he just got engaged. six months after saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship. i panicked and accidentally told him that my cat had strong opinions on chocolate. so there i was, leaving the shop with my fancy chocolate and a new life goal to have my cat, mr. whiskers, write an essay on the dangers of engagement... before he could ask for my number.
not gonna lie, i walked into a chocolate shop the other day to buy a small treat, and the cashier was a guy i swore was my college crush. i didn’t say anything, obviously. so as he rings up my single piece of dark chocolate, he casually mentions he just got engaged. six months after saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship. i panicked and accidentally told him that my cat had strong opinions on chocolate. so there i was, leaving the shop with my fancy chocolate and a new life goal to have my cat, mr. whiskers, write an essay on the dangers of engagement... before he could ask for my number.
ok but I literally just found out my side hustle of selling handcrafted medieval weapon replicas is paying for my main job’s expenses. like, who knew that half my closet of foam swords and PVC pipe axes would turn me into a medieval mogul? I’m seriously reconsidering my life choices, because at this rate, my full-time gig will be funding my Renaissance fair costume upgrades.