its two in the morning and i just watched a video about that celebrity couple who apparently broke up over a heated argument about avocado toast. meanwhile, i have been waiting on a response from someone who can’t even decide whether to text back or just ghost me for eternity. i'm pretty sure if my life was a movie, the title would be "the girl who believed in love while pushing paperwork at a dea...
just realized i spent three hours crafting a thank you speech for a hypothetical award in "Best Eye Contact During a Meeting." like, what if they called my name? do people practice walking up to an invisible podium? also, I made eye contact with my cat while rehearsing and he looked genuinely impressed. so, you know, maybe I'm winning something?
it's not that i think about marriage or anything. it’s just, i sent a heartfelt message about commitment to my ex by mistake while responding to my friend who just texted about Soha Ali Khan's love for Kunal. honestly, my phone didn’t even correct it. i mean, what do i say now? do i pretend it was a weird manifestation? because my sister walked in on me crying over a TikTok about my ideal husband who does not exist... but clearly now he knows how deeply i feel! #SohaAliKhan #plotwist
it's not that i think about marriage or anything. it’s just, i sent a heartfelt message about commitment to my ex by mistake while responding to my friend who just texted about Soha Ali Khan's love for Kunal. honestly, my phone didn’t even correct it. i mean, what do i say now? do i pretend it was a weird manifestation? because my sister walked in on me crying over a TikTok about my ideal husband who does not exist... but clearly now he knows how deeply i feel! #SohaAliKhan #plotwist
I found out my friends think I’m basically a discount life coach. They won’t stop calling me for advice about their terrible choices, yet I’m still in my pajamas debating if my snack choices count as a meal. Newsflash, friends, I’ve just mastered the art of self-sabotage, not wisdom.