just realized i spent three hours crafting a thank you speech for a hypothetical award in "Best Eye Contact During a Meeting." like, what if they called my name? do people practice walking up to an invisible podium? also, I made eye contact with my cat while rehearsing and he looked genuinely impressed. so, you know, maybe I'm winning something?
it's not that i think about marriage or anything. it’s just, i sent a heartfelt message about commitment to my ex by mistake while responding to my friend who just texted about Soha Ali Khan's love for Kunal. honestly, my phone didn’t even correct it. i mean, what do i say now? do i pretend it was a weird manifestation? because my sister walked in on me crying over a TikTok about my ideal husband ...
I found out my friends think I’m basically a discount life coach. They won’t stop calling me for advice about their terrible choices, yet I’m still in my pajamas debating if my snack choices count as a meal. Newsflash, friends, I’ve just mastered the art of self-sabotage, not wisdom.
I found out my friends think I’m basically a discount life coach. They won’t stop calling me for advice about their terrible choices, yet I’m still in my pajamas debating if my snack choices count as a meal. Newsflash, friends, I’ve just mastered the art of self-sabotage, not wisdom.
just checked the flight status and noticed that some random couple at the airport is now going to Miami instead of Seattle. i spent the last hour creating an entire narrative about how they met on a canceled flight last month, and now, they're going to have the BEST vacation while i sit here trying to figure out if my cat is a demon or just really dramatic. they even had a matching luggage set. di...