it's 3am and i just realized my family discovered my social media. the only things that popped up were me discussing my totally platonic crush on someone named "Justin D’Cruz" and going into a full meltdown over the drama of #PayalGamingKiViralVideo. my aunt asked me if this was "what i spent my time on" and suddenly my obsessive interest in celebrity relationship timelines feels like an RECRUITME...
the way that my coworker forwarded my private message about the color of office staplers to the entire team like it was a national security briefing. who knew that i had a controversial opinion on pastel pink staples? am i being called to a meeting to explain myself or do i need to prepare a PowerPoint?
just found out the new hire i trained is making more than me and i'm over here dusting off my funeral outfit like i’m already attending my own eulogy—“he was a dedicated worker but not as dedicated as a college football player's injury report.” guess i should add ‘prepare for next life crisis’ to my calendar. #DaveonHook #workdrama
just found out the new hire i trained is making more than me and i'm over here dusting off my funeral outfit like i’m already attending my own eulogy—“he was a dedicated worker but not as dedicated as a college football player's injury report.” guess i should add ‘prepare for next life crisis’ to my calendar. #DaveonHook #workdrama
ok but I just caught myself googling “what to do with a cursed antique mirror” and now I’m questioning ALL my life choices—like who knew you needed a sage stick AND a circle of salt just to look at your reflection—now I’m worried that it’s just going to start revealing the secrets of my past instead of my lunch, you know? #vintagevibes #whydoesthisevenmatter