so i was scrolling through my notes app and found a whole page titled “conspiracy theories about my houseplants.” like, why do i genuinely believe my fern is plotting against me with the succulents? i went as far as naming them all after classic movie villains. honestly, if anyone reads this, i might just have to change my name and move to a different country. #noboyscannotbeseeingthis #plantparen...
the way that i just sent my entire heart out with a ten-paragraph email, detailing all my thoughts on the bridgerton cast’s recent shift, and my only reply was a single facepalm emoji. like, am i having a mental breakdown or are they, like, holding my emotional intelligence hostage? now i’m left here contemplating if my life is just a scene from a bad romantic drama where the universe says "try ag...
just looked at how many subscriptions I accidentally signed up for during that week I was binge-watching cooking shows, and I swear I felt my soul leave my body as I thought about all the dinners I skipped making in favor of some random influencer’s twenty-minute tutorial—how does one get so invested in a jhanki parade on Republic Day when my biggest accomplishment lately is not burning toast for dinner? now I need to assess my life choices and figure out if I care more about random people dancing in the streets or if my future self deserves a healthy relationship with actual food—decisions, decisions. #UttarakhandJhankiInRepublicDay #selfreflection
just looked at how many subscriptions I accidentally signed up for during that week I was binge-watching cooking shows, and I swear I felt my soul leave my body as I thought about all the dinners I skipped making in favor of some random influencer’s twenty-minute tutorial—how does one get so invested in a jhanki parade on Republic Day when my biggest accomplishment lately is not burning toast for dinner? now I need to assess my life choices and figure out if I care more about random people dancing in the streets or if my future self deserves a healthy relationship with actual food—decisions, decisions. #UttarakhandJhankiInRepublicDay #selfreflection
wait. my camera roll is like a secret diary full of GTA 5 screenshots mixed with pictures of my lunch from two weeks ago. I’ve got one of Franklin aiming a shotgun next to a pizza I half-eaten. clearly, the culinary world is my next criminal enterprise. now I'm imagining how I'd explain this in court, like “Your Honor, I promise I’m not a criminal. I just have a very bizarre appreciation for pizza...