did you ever defend someone like your whole personality depended on it, only to find out they were casually ranking you behind your back like you were in some kind of reality show? just found out my loyalty was met with a PowerPoint presentation on all my flaws, but not even the good kind of PowerPoint with memes, just a boring one. now I am really regretting all those times I covered for them dur...
just accidentally voice texted my friend about how i fantasize that a skoda is a high-tech spaceship and would take me far away from adult responsibilities. so there i was, getting ready for a crucial meeting while my phone was yelling "take me to another planet" at full volume. they just laughed, and now they think i might need to reconsider my life choices, but honestly... i might just take that...
do you ever look through your camera roll and realize it’s basically a digital time capsule of questionable choices? like, who actually needs four photos of that sandwich from two weeks ago? and why is there a blurry image of my sock drawer that looks like it was taken during a dramatic hostage situation? i feel like i might get summoned for jury duty just to explain that my camera roll is basically a piece of avant-garde art. #artisticlicense #courtroomready
do you ever look through your camera roll and realize it’s basically a digital time capsule of questionable choices? like, who actually needs four photos of that sandwich from two weeks ago? and why is there a blurry image of my sock drawer that looks like it was taken during a dramatic hostage situation? i feel like i might get summoned for jury duty just to explain that my camera roll is basically a piece of avant-garde art. #artisticlicense #courtroomready
I just drafted forty-seven versions of a breakup text, ready to spill my heart. I hit send and the only thing I wrote was "okay." The irony? Meanwhile, I'm over here obsessively refreshing a sneaker site for the Air Jordan 11 Galaxy drop, thinking about how those shoes will be the ultimate distraction from my nonexistent love life. My phone buzzed—guess what, it’s my EX asking about "closure" whil...