I can't be the only one who thinks that my barista knows more about my life than most of my friends. I go in there like I'm spilling my deepest secrets, meanwhile, they just want to know if I want oat milk or almond milk. Honestly, there should be a loyalty program for emotional support along with my coffee order. Thanks for being my unofficial therapist, but can we please skip the small talk and ...
I don’t get why everyone pretends to be a food critic on social media. Like, congratulations, you ordered a medium rare steak and now you think you’re Gordon Ramsay. Spoiler alert: your taste is still as basic as your choice in Netflix shows. And can we talk about those endless reels of aesthetic plates? It’s food, not art! If I wanted to stare at a painting, I'd visit a museum, not a trendy cafe....
I have a deep appreciation for those people who reply to your texts immediately, even when you know they’re busy. Like, do they have a secret time-turner or something? Meanwhile, I’m over here taking 3 hours to type “LOL” because I'm busy overthinking my response like it’s an application for NASA. Honestly, thank you for making me look like I have my life together, even when I'm just a mess scrolling through memes.
I have a deep appreciation for those people who reply to your texts immediately, even when you know they’re busy. Like, do they have a secret time-turner or something? Meanwhile, I’m over here taking 3 hours to type “LOL” because I'm busy overthinking my response like it’s an application for NASA. Honestly, thank you for making me look like I have my life together, even when I'm just a mess scrolling through memes.
You ever notice how the person who always says "I'm just being honest" is usually the one who's about to drop some unsolicited brutal opinion? Like, congrats on being "real" while I’m over here trying to live my life without feeling personally attacked. Also, if honesty is the best policy, then why is my therapist still charging me for these revelations? Just give me the "honest" discounts, please...