...so I found myself in this weird war with a fan account for an obscure band that I thought only I liked. they posted this terrible edit of a song that made me ANGRY and I couldn’t help but type up this passionate rebuttal about the real meaning behind the lyrics – which, let's be real, nobody asked for. next thing I know, I'm composing an entire manifesto about the band's hidden messages while s...
have you ever stumbled upon a family secret that explains absolutely everything? so, I just found out my great-uncle invented the world's first instant toenail clippings removal device. honestly, that explains why my family has an annual toenail trimming competition and why I have this deep-seated rage toward long nails. I mean, my ancestors were clearly onto something, but does this mean I can ma...
i saw something about monaco and my brain spiraled. is it weird that i now have a plan to flee to monaco every time my boss throws another ‘team-building’ meeting that definitely means more work? then i remembered my last vacation photo looks like a poorly timed selfie with my food, and i started to panic. if anyone sees my camera roll, they’d think i’ve committed culinary crimes in a high-end restaurant instead of realizing i’m just bad at posing. #Monaco #FleeingReality
i saw something about monaco and my brain spiraled. is it weird that i now have a plan to flee to monaco every time my boss throws another ‘team-building’ meeting that definitely means more work? then i remembered my last vacation photo looks like a poorly timed selfie with my food, and i started to panic. if anyone sees my camera roll, they’d think i’ve committed culinary crimes in a high-end restaurant instead of realizing i’m just bad at posing. #Monaco #FleeingReality
yoo, so I accidentally hearted my own message while trying to vibe with a new friend who definitely doesn’t text back. now I’m spiraling about the idea of ‘self-love’ being too literal while Kobe Bufkin gets signed and I still can’t even get a basic reply. I wonder if my phone will let me swipe left on my own heart... #KobeBufkin #existentialcrisis