have you ever stumbled upon a family secret that explains absolutely everything? so, I just found out my great-uncle invented the world's first instant toenail clippings removal device. honestly, that explains why my family has an annual toenail trimming competition and why I have this deep-seated rage toward long nails. I mean, my ancestors were clearly onto something, but does this mean I can ma...
i saw something about monaco and my brain spiraled. is it weird that i now have a plan to flee to monaco every time my boss throws another ‘team-building’ meeting that definitely means more work? then i remembered my last vacation photo looks like a poorly timed selfie with my food, and i started to panic. if anyone sees my camera roll, they’d think i’ve committed culinary crimes in a high-end res...
yoo, so I accidentally hearted my own message while trying to vibe with a new friend who definitely doesn’t text back. now I’m spiraling about the idea of ‘self-love’ being too literal while Kobe Bufkin gets signed and I still can’t even get a basic reply. I wonder if my phone will let me swipe left on my own heart... #KobeBufkin #existentialcrisis
yoo, so I accidentally hearted my own message while trying to vibe with a new friend who definitely doesn’t text back. now I’m spiraling about the idea of ‘self-love’ being too literal while Kobe Bufkin gets signed and I still can’t even get a basic reply. I wonder if my phone will let me swipe left on my own heart... #KobeBufkin #existentialcrisis
the other day, my parent said, "i'm not mad, i'm just disappointed." and i realized that is the vibe of my life. just like kam patterson said about SNL being “not for me,” i could be living my whole life not for me either. like, do people just scroll through my existence with that look of silent disappointment? am i the punchline in my own tragic comedy? #KamPatterson #ExistentialCrisis