it’s day 47 of pretending to be someone my family would finally be proud of. last week, i showed up at dinner with a job title that sounds impressive and a smile that hides the panic of my life feeling like a circus. my mom asked why i can’t be more like my cousin who just got a promotion and all i could think was how his smile felt like a dagger reminding me of all the things i’ve sacrificed for ...
literally, every time I laugh, I wonder if it’s my actual laugh or just the one people like to hear. honestly, it feels like I’m performing in my own life, waiting for the applause while secretly hoping someone will ask if I’m okay behind the curtain.
last night, i caught myself looking up the cost of ramen because, like, who knew? it's literally the same as a fancy drink i used to order when i wanted to pretend life was okay. everyone sees my playlists and assumes i have it together, but honestly? i just googled how to stretch ten bucks until payday. #strugglinginparadise #moneytalks
last night, i caught myself looking up the cost of ramen because, like, who knew? it's literally the same as a fancy drink i used to order when i wanted to pretend life was okay. everyone sees my playlists and assumes i have it together, but honestly? i just googled how to stretch ten bucks until payday. #strugglinginparadise #moneytalks
saw the news about those extra support measures and thought, oh great, maybe that will help, but then remembered I can’t even get through a simple grocery trip without panicking over the checkout total. like, why does pasta cost more than my entire existence at this point? I once left the store with only a bag of frozen peas and a half-empty jar of mayo because that seemed more manageable... but h...