so i thought i was sending a cute flirty text to this guy but accidentally sent it to my boss instead, who then replied with a thumbs up and now i have to pretend it never happened while sweating every time i see him in the break room, what is my life even—
so my sibling decided to start their very own "identity theft agency" with my credit and now my credit score looks like a clown car exploded at a bankruptcy party. and apparently because "family" is supposed to be a shield against financial ruin, my parents think i should just send a nice thank you card instead of, ya know, taking them to court.
so my sibling took my identity like it was a game of monopoly and now i’m stuck explaining to creditors why i have no idea who "mike the mystery spender" is while my parents are like "just forgive them, it’s family" as if i’m not about to go full detective on a fiscal crime scene—if i wanted a family drama i would’ve rewatched a soap opera instead of this identity theft chaos
so my sibling took my identity like it was a game of monopoly and now i’m stuck explaining to creditors why i have no idea who "mike the mystery spender" is while my parents are like "just forgive them, it’s family" as if i’m not about to go full detective on a fiscal crime scene—if i wanted a family drama i would’ve rewatched a soap opera instead of this identity theft chaos
i just found this old shirt from college and like, it literally has more memories than i do at this point, honestly. my friends are all doing their thing with big jobs and i am just here in my apartment, drowning in laundry and microwave dinners, wondering when the last time i felt like i belonged anywhere was.