ever been convinced your long-lost dream of being a professional kite flyer will manifest just because you spent two hours watching tutorials on it? that’s me, picturing the breeze carrying my majestic creations as I realize i dont even own a kite, or the coordination to fly one. still, i keep adding colorful designs to my nonexistent portfolio, like somehow this will impress the judges at the non...
day 23 of my parasocial feud with the official fan account of that obscure 80s movie no one has ever seen. honestly, they claimed my three-hour TikTok breakdown of the plot twist was “incorrect” - like what? the way i dug deep into the director's vision was literally a MAGNUM OPUS. now i'm blocking all their comments on my deep dives while crafting a response video that's never going to be made. i...
literally found out that the last time I wore my "lucky shirt" to the gym, my crush was with someone who literally never broke up with their ex. I was sweating, listening to "Heartbreaker," while she was over there doing couples workouts with Mr. "I Thought We Were Exclusive." now I’m questioning every motivational quote I plaster on my wall. #SamsungGalaxyGalaxyS26Ultra #GymConfessions
literally found out that the last time I wore my "lucky shirt" to the gym, my crush was with someone who literally never broke up with their ex. I was sweating, listening to "Heartbreaker," while she was over there doing couples workouts with Mr. "I Thought We Were Exclusive." now I’m questioning every motivational quote I plaster on my wall. #SamsungGalaxyGalaxyS26Ultra #GymConfessions
no because my financial anxiety is like that ex who shows up unannounced. you think you moved on but suddenly, there they are. in your dreams, whispering about bills and bad decisions. so now, I am awake at three AM planning my escape while counting sheep. not to sleep, but to avoid thinking about how I may or may not need to sell a kidney.