the other day I found this deal on non-stick frying pans that was SO good I bought like four, right? I mean, who wouldn’t? But now my kitchen looks like the Teflon Storage Facility of the Apocalypse. Seriously, do I really need a lifetime supply of pans just in case I get a sudden urge to host a brunch for the neighborhood squirrels? at this rate, I’m starting to wonder if I should've invested in ...
no because i tried to high five someone thinking i was a superstar in my own rom-com but they went for a fist bump like they were sultan-ing me to go home – that awkward moment felt like katrina describing salman’s unpredictability while my social skills crumbled like old bread at a fancy dinner #Sultan #AwkwardMoments
it's not that i don't believe in lucky deals, it's just that when i found out my favorite sandwich place was giving away free sandwiches for a week, i immediately thought of every time i stared longingly at my bank account like it owed me money, and now here i am, being a glutton for free food instead of solving my life crisis, wondering if two free turkey clubs means i should start working on my life goals or just stuff them in my face like a raccoon that found a dumpster behind a barbecue joint.
it's not that i don't believe in lucky deals, it's just that when i found out my favorite sandwich place was giving away free sandwiches for a week, i immediately thought of every time i stared longingly at my bank account like it owed me money, and now here i am, being a glutton for free food instead of solving my life crisis, wondering if two free turkey clubs means i should start working on my life goals or just stuff them in my face like a raccoon that found a dumpster behind a barbecue joint.
it's not that i don’t care about senegal vs dr congo, it's just... what do you mean the game is on live? that’s what my friends said 3 days ago when they planned a watch party at the one café that has a goat inside it, and somehow i’m still trying to find a way to contact that goat for tickets because i think he has the exclusive link. #SenegalVsDrCongo #GoatTickets