so like i just realized the hot new avocado toast spot on 3rd street has a **literally** big mural of my ex’s face on it, like is that a sign or am I just hungry? anyway, I walked in and asked for a kale smoothie and the barista goes, “that’ll be $8.50” and I lowkey thought “this better come with a hug” but honestly it was bomb, so who’s really winning here?
it's not that i’m mad about my friend canceling our moonlit dog-watching plans (like who even does that?), it's just i was really looking forward to critiquing how my neighbor’s pug, Mr. Fluffykins, seems to think he’s auditioning for a horror movie with his dramatic barking every night at 11:47pm sharp, which, honestly, may just be his audition tape for a future role in *Scary Pugs 2*.
yooo i just realized that my plant, Gerald, who i thought was a tough survivor, is literally giving me the silent treatment after i forgot to water him for a week and honestly it's like if he's judging my life choices or something but he’s also over here being a lowkey reminder that commitment is hard even for a pothos, like how does a plant manage to make me feel this guilty just for existing when he used to thrive like he was the star of a botanical rom-com in my tiny studio and now i just keep staring at him hoping he won’t curl up and die but what do i even say to a plant that’s been there for me through my worst meltdowns, can we just like call a truce or am i too far gone for this relationship?
yooo i just realized that my plant, Gerald, who i thought was a tough survivor, is literally giving me the silent treatment after i forgot to water him for a week and honestly it's like if he's judging my life choices or something but he’s also over here being a lowkey reminder that commitment is hard even for a pothos, like how does a plant manage to make me feel this guilty just for existing when he used to thrive like he was the star of a botanical rom-com in my tiny studio and now i just keep staring at him hoping he won’t curl up and die but what do i even say to a plant that’s been there for me through my worst meltdowns, can we just like call a truce or am i too far gone for this relationship?
it's 11:42pm and I just realized I’ve eaten the same frozen burrito for lunch every day this week? like, that’s 5 burritos from the gas station across from my dorm that I swore I’d never go to again. ngl, I think they’re starting to become a weird comfort food for me or something? I swear I can’t remember the last time I actually chewed food, it’s all just an endless cycle of microwave beep and ri...