the way that every time i finally think im figuring out my book club, they just change the book on me like im in a bad romcom. this month it was "War and Peace" which honestly, feels more like "War and Nope" to me, especially since we read "Twilight" last month and i had just memorized the glittering vampire dialogue! like, i get it, i need to grow, but can we chill with the 1200 pages? who has ti...
literally just found out I've been saying 'scone' like 'scon' my whole life, ngl I thought it rhymed with 'gone' when it actually sounds like 'cone'?? like what even is a scone anyway? I ordered one last week at this little cafe on 5th and Elm and the barista just kinda looked at me like I’d grown a third arm or something.
so like i just realized the hot new avocado toast spot on 3rd street has a **literally** big mural of my ex’s face on it, like is that a sign or am I just hungry? anyway, I walked in and asked for a kale smoothie and the barista goes, “that’ll be $8.50” and I lowkey thought “this better come with a hug” but honestly it was bomb, so who’s really winning here?
so like i just realized the hot new avocado toast spot on 3rd street has a **literally** big mural of my ex’s face on it, like is that a sign or am I just hungry? anyway, I walked in and asked for a kale smoothie and the barista goes, “that’ll be $8.50” and I lowkey thought “this better come with a hug” but honestly it was bomb, so who’s really winning here?
it's not that i’m mad about my friend canceling our moonlit dog-watching plans (like who even does that?), it's just i was really looking forward to critiquing how my neighbor’s pug, Mr. Fluffykins, seems to think he’s auditioning for a horror movie with his dramatic barking every night at 11:47pm sharp, which, honestly, may just be his audition tape for a future role in *Scary Pugs 2*.