it's not that i’m mad about my friend canceling our moonlit dog-watching plans (like who even does that?), it's just i was really looking forward to critiquing how my neighbor’s pug, Mr. Fluffykins, seems to think he’s auditioning for a horror movie with his dramatic barking every night at 11:47pm sharp, which, honestly, may just be his audition tape for a future role in *Scary Pugs 2*.
yooo i just realized that my plant, Gerald, who i thought was a tough survivor, is literally giving me the silent treatment after i forgot to water him for a week and honestly it's like if he's judging my life choices or something but he’s also over here being a lowkey reminder that commitment is hard even for a pothos, like how does a plant manage to make me feel this guilty just for existing whe...
it's 11:42pm and I just realized I’ve eaten the same frozen burrito for lunch every day this week? like, that’s 5 burritos from the gas station across from my dorm that I swore I’d never go to again. ngl, I think they’re starting to become a weird comfort food for me or something? I swear I can’t remember the last time I actually chewed food, it’s all just an endless cycle of microwave beep and rinse & repeat… now I have this craving for like, a gourmet avocado toast or some ridiculous brunch thing but what is even the point, right?
it's 11:42pm and I just realized I’ve eaten the same frozen burrito for lunch every day this week? like, that’s 5 burritos from the gas station across from my dorm that I swore I’d never go to again. ngl, I think they’re starting to become a weird comfort food for me or something? I swear I can’t remember the last time I actually chewed food, it’s all just an endless cycle of microwave beep and rinse & repeat… now I have this craving for like, a gourmet avocado toast or some ridiculous brunch thing but what is even the point, right?
the way that i still can’t believe i went to that pottery class back in 2018, and when the instructor asked us to make something ‘representing our inner selves,’ i literally crafted a giant spaghetti noodle and wrote ‘carbs are life’ on it with sparkly glue like wth. honestly, that should’ve been a wake-up call that my art career was gonna flop but nooooo, here i am at 2am vividly remembering my m...